I’m a different kind of mom, and the adventures I’ve been through have changed me. I didn’t realize I wanted to be a mom so badly, until I couldn’t get pregnant. Then, being a mom was all I could think about. For five years I cried myself to sleep, cursed my body, prayed, and longed to hold a baby in my arms. Do you know that feeling? It’s not something that can be truly understood by anyone who has not experienced it.
I’ll admit I was bitter. I was angry and resentful of all the pregnant people around me. I couldn’t rejoice in the babies of friends and relatives. I wish I knew then what a blessing it all was and how special the experience would become.
You see, I am now able to look back and remember the pain in my heart when I talk to someone who is trying to get pregnant and can’t. I can relate on a different level to someone telling her heart-breaking story of infertility. I can rejoice with profound energy and enthusiasm with mothers who have overcome too many obstacles to become mothers. I cry for first time parents finally experiencing their joy.
All of these feelings I have now and the outlook I am able to have is only possible from what I’ve been through. I am a firm believer that when things happen we must grow and find one thing each day to be joyful about. That’s my personal motto: Finding joy everyday. If you know me, I’m a different kind of mom. All three of my girls have a very unique story of landing in my arms. Each took a very long time to get here, but that’s ok. I’m fine with being different.
I'm 
Although I’m not infertile, getting pregnant doesn’t come easy for us. I still struggled (still do sometimes) with those same feelings. We’ve been marvelously blessed to be able to have one child. We’d love more but haven’t been able to yet . Like you, when I hear someone speak of their pain or uncertainly about conceiving, I’m grateful I can be there for them. Thanks so much for posting this.
Words directly from my heart as well, Beth. Very well written!
Thank you for writing these words! I felt that same way. I’m going to be a ‘different kind of mom’ as well because I will be 40 yrs. old when I give birth to our first blessing!
YES! I can totally relate to this…I couldn’t get pregnant for over 2 years too and I thought my poor husband married the wrong person…I was so depressed every time I got my period…this consumed my every waking moment…thanks for sharing this personal story!