Good title, eh? Well, I wanted to call a spade a spade. I didn’t start this article as a rant, but it turned out to be just that. Agree or disagree, this is my take on this cell phone nonsense.

All this press on kids with cell phones, drives me crazy. Yes, we are digital society and things are changing. However, good parenting should not change, nor should healthy behaviors of our youth: Rules, expectations, responsibility, modesty, and respect are just as important today as a hundred years ago. So when I see a story of a young girl and her family featured on the news about her monthly phone bill being hundreds of pages long, I don’t find it funny. I find it scary that parents would exploit this, sending the message this behavior is healthy and acceptable. It’s no wonder that “sexting” or “sextexting” is becoming an issue. Why do all these kids need phones? What happened to “Are Jenny’s parents going to be there? Ok, let me talk to Jenny’s mom…Call me when you get there (i.e. from some sort of phone plugged into a wall)”

In case you are wondering how this would work:

1. Mom or dad asks daughter (or son) where she is going or what her plans are-prior to parting ways in the morning. *Parenting required.

2. Mom or dad sets expectations, prior to said event. *Parenting required.

3. Mom or dad does NOT get interrupted by child via cell phone when child finds in necessary to notify parents of intention *Child respect required.

4. Child is forced to make a plan and be responsible to check with friends about details parents might ask *Child responsibility required.

5. Parent drops child off or child has earned trust to drive to event *Parenting required. *Child responsibility required.

6. Child calls home to let parents know of arrival or any change of plans from phone at location (hint, if child is somewhere there isn’t a phone, probably not somewhere she needs to be) *Child responsibility required

7. Parent needs to be home to answer phone when child checks in and/or make some “spot checks” via phone or driving over to Jenny’s house. *Parenting required.

8. Child talks to Jenny at school, in person, via a phone plugged into a wall, or tin cans held together by a string.

9. In case of travel or appointment where a cell phone would be helpful to the parents, then child borrows mom or dad’s phone to take with if needed. Notice I said needed?

This method has been tested and works. When I was a juvenile probation officer responsible for many teens and pre-teens with disrespectful behavior, the cell phone or pager was the first thing to go. You can’t believe the skills the kids learned about responsibility and follow-through. Parents were held responsible for parenting their child who was getting in trouble. It’s a two way street. Some kids had parents taking an active roll in their lives for the first time EVER and found out how good that can feel (even if they didn’t want to admit it and it was court ordered). I didn’t allow parents to be lazy with expectations and follow-through with their kids. That went out the window when a law was broken and a child’s future in jeopardy.